Friday, May 27, 2005

You sir are an idiot.

On my daily drive to work this morning I was unfortunate enough to get behind a large white pick up truck. This truck had a confederate flag sticker in the window, a proud 'W', not 1 but 2 gun control bumper stickers, hehe yeah yeah Beavis, control your gun "use 2 hands" hehe yeah yeah (OK, that maaaay be a paraphrase but you get the jist!).

Let me set the tone, it's 7am and I'm traveling between Cool Springs and Armory. At this time of the morning there are a lot of cars coming from Franklin/Brentwood to Nashville but still open enough to be traveling 70 MPH. Beavis starts out behind me in what I would call damn near bumper to bumper traffic. A small opening, he darts into the lane, passes me on the right and darts back in front of me only to slam on his breaks taking us from 70 down to about 45. Then, darts out of the HOV lane, all the way over to the 'slow' lane (3 lanes over), passes 1 car gets stuck behind another and ends up cutting the guy off behind me only to end up where he started. Yup, behind me. He did this not once, oh no not twice but THREE times between Old Hickory and Harding.

You really got to work for that kind of stupidity.

If you're reading........"you sir, are an idiot".

It's funny to me when some people get road rage, especially in Kansas where there is nothing on the road so you stew and stew until finally........AAAAGHGGHGHHAAAHGHGHGH. Fuckin Corn!
An oldy but goody. But seriously folks, next time you get a little irritated on the road just find one of these guys and watch his futility. Darting in and out, in and out. All to get to the same exit you are going to, but thank god he made it 4 fewer cars lengths!

Watch them and laugh.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Thanks for the advice Dad.

I've been an adult for a while now. Moved out and to a new town when I was 18, made some mistakes and taken my lumps here and there and now I've moved my way up the corporate ladder to where I'm in a pretty good place. A young man, 18 or so, came in and applied for a job today on the recommendation of his dad who is a friend of the owner. Under the 'position applying for' blank on the application he wrote "it don't matter".

The Advice - Upon getting my drivers license at age 16 and gaining my 1st glimpse at independance I went out and did what a lot of red blooded American teens do, I got 3 speeding tickets in about 2 weeks. (Dad, I don't know if you ever knew that) I then proceeded to seek employment at Wendy's so I could pay for these and try my best to not let my parents find out. Back in my school days I was known for NEVER wearing pants. By that I mean I always wore shorts. No matter how cold, there were probably a few years I never wore pants. Upon learning of my job interview at Wendy's my dad made me get a nice shirt and slacks to wear to the interview. Long before that he, along with my mom, had also taught me basic manners like refering to people as Sir or Maam until they they advise you to call them different and giving people a firm hand shake. I'll never forget my 1st interview with the owner of the local Wendy's, after arriving at the store in slacks and calling him sir I was offered the job, no questions asked. He told me that most teens did not dress up or show the ligthest sign of respect when going after a job and that my apperance and attitude reflected character. After that he was confident that the rest would take care of itself. That basic advice given by my parents has taken me a long way. In the several promotions I recieved at my previous job I was often questioned by other internal applicants as to why I showed up in a shirt and tie when everyone knows I wear shorts and jersey's to work. These same people also questioned me on how out of the 15 interviews I've ever had in my life that only twice have I not recieved the job or promotion I was seeking. In most cases for some unknown reason beating out people with more experience and qualifications than me.

This was by no means the only advice I recieved from my parents growing up but it's funny how some of the basics can carry you a long way!

Unfortunately, I think all my "it don't matter" positions are full right now.

Who's in China?

Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you.
George B. : - Good, send her in.Secretary: - Yessir.(Hangs up. Condi enters.)
Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr. President.
George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China.
George B. : - Great, Condi. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza : - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China.
George B. : - Well, that's what I want to know.
Condoleeza : - But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President.
George B. : - Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China?Condoleeza : - Yes.
George B. : - I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The guy in China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The new leader of China.
Condoleeza : - Hu.
George B. : - The Chinaman!
Condoleeza : - Hu is leading China, Mr. President.
George B. : - Whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza : - I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George B. : - Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading China?
Condoleeza : - That's the man's name.
George B. : - That's who's name?
Condoleeza : - Yes.(Pause.)
George B. : - Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleeza : - That's correct.
George B. : - Then who is in China?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.
George B. : - Then who is?
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Yassir?
Condoleeza : - No, sir.(Pause. Crumples paper)
George B. : - Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don't you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the phone.
Condoleeza : - Kofi Annan?
George B. : - No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap.
Condoleeza : - You want Kofi?
George B. : - No.
Condoleeza : - You don't want Kofi.
George B. : - No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations.
Condoleeza : - Kofi?
George B. : - Milk! Will you please make that call?
Condoleeza : - And call who?
George B. : - Well, who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleeza : - No, Hu is the guy in China.
George B. : - Will you stay out of China?!
Condoleeza : - Yes, sir.
George B. : - And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condoleeza : - Kofi.
George B. : - All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condoleeza : - Hello. Rice, here.
George B. : - Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East? I don't know.

I know I posted this before but it cracks me up!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Weekend Boxing

I watched the rematch of Felix 'Tito' Trinidad vs Winky Wright on Saturday night. I've always been a fan of Tito's, on the other hand I do like Winky as well. I thought this would be a much closer bout with Winky barely getting a victory. Tito was totally outclassed by Winky from the 1st round to the last. 2 of the 3 judges generously gave Tito 1 round each, I did not. Felix never landed more than 8 punches in 1 round, Winky on the other hand landed over 20 punches in 10 of the 12 rounds. Winky is a come straight at you type of boxer and Tito stood right in there the whole fight and tried to beat him to the punch. The next day Tito's father, who doubles as Tito's cornerman, retired from boxing. He admitted he was not up to being the cornerman anymore after that performance. in between several of the rounds you could hear Tito's father tell him to keep doing what he was doing, he was getting a boxing lesson was what he was doing. Never did I think that Tito would get beat that bad. My hats off to Winky for a masterful performance in the ring.

In live action we got to take another look at the controversial Andrew Golota. Golota is a solid fighter with good skills who seems to self destruct when given a real opportunity to shine. Lamon Brewster, holder of the least coveted heavyweight belt, knocked Golota down in about 13 seconds, then again in another 13 second, then again, you guessed it.....13 seconds. Add a couple of 9 counts and you've got yourself a 53 second fight! Golota looked stunned to say the least. Lamon, for the 1st time in my opinion, looked like a serious contender for a 'real' belt.

Why does the google do what it does?

So I'm looking at my sight meter today and someone ended up on my page becasue I was the 7th web-site listed when they search....... women clothing constrict. I kid you not. So, my sight has 'women' and 'clothing' in Monte Python's lumberjack song which I have posted. It pulled 'constrict' from an article I wrote on Royce Gracie. Me describing how he constricts around his oponents. But looking up "women, clothing and constrict" and ending up on my sight....well that's just how rumors get started. And who is this perv who searched for those three words???? Probably Daniel or Mike!

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Long time no hear.

Since I'm in here and updating I'd like to say Hi to my cousin's who I talked to tonight for the 1st time in quite a while. It's amazing how you don't keep in touch with those you love sometimes. David and Paul, along with David's twin brother Brian who wasn't there, were some of my closest friends growing up. We didn't see to much of each other when we were really young but throughout high school we became pretty close. Our family as a whole has been pretty blessed I think. All us cousins turned out fairly normal (don't use my as the measuring stick to the normalness of our family!!), those of us who have decided to start a family and have children have found pretty good wives (again, don't use me as the measuring stick here) and have healthy beautiful children. David has a wife and 3 children, Paul has a wife and 1 child. Paul is taking the same type of martial arts classes I started, we decided that some day we'll end up in a cage fight! Everyone knows, except Paul because he's got a thick head, that I would win easily. :) So there! Punk. The trash talking to Curtis vs. Brunson has officialy begun.

Friday night on the town

Well it seems as though we've been toned down for a while, I've been working and going to class so much haven't had time to really tie one of lately. Daniel's had a couple of weekends out of town this month so we decided to head out on the only Friday he'd be here. We started out at Prime Time Pizza, it's our new meeting place since the E sucks now under the new management. We chatted with Bill, another former E regular and headed off to Hooters. Normally Hooters is a Wednesday thing for all you can eat wings but our friends Heather and Brent were involved in a volleyball tournament there. We watched some volleyball, ate some wings, drank some beer. We had one of the worse waitresses ever at Hooters. Normally better service. Headed back to Cool Springs TGIF's for the remainder of the night. I met this girl Julie who's pretty cool, ran into some people I haven't seen in a while. All and all it was not a crazy night like we do sometimes do, but it was fun. (Accidentally left the camera at home so no pictures)

Friday, May 20, 2005


For weeks I, along with many I know, have had to endure the torchers of watching the Michael Jackson trial unfold with little anticipation. The story seems to lead every newscast every night. We also all were well informed about the poor run away bride, she took several minutes of my life I will never get back. Here's my news cast....

Hello, if you don't think Michael Jackson is a sick twisted freak that needs to be locked far away from children for the rest of his life.......YOU ARE AN IDIOT! End of story.

(Side note away from the newscast = If you want to remember him for his music, charity work and all that I'm fine with it. He was and is a talented artist, but I'm not letting my daughter stay over at his house no matter how much money he gives me.)

In other news a bride ran away, you can clearly see by the picture of her and her fiance that they are both crazy. Who cares!

Now I'm going to have to ask all the Jerrry Springer fans to turn in for the evening while those of us real adults who care about things like education, our friends, family and loved ones fighting the war on terror, the environment and our quality of life in this great country talk real business.

I don't have to ask the hard core conservatives to change the channel like the Springer fans, they're all to busy trying to pass laws on "sexy cheerleading" while African's in some country's are getting slaughtered by the thousands and more. I hope they stop that gay couple from getting married in Maine, that might destroy my marrige....Oh wait, I got divorced all on my own with no outside influence from gay people.

(I know I left myself wide open for several jokes there. If Daniel, my small minded conservative friend, has read this far.....feel free to take full advantage, doesn't happen very often.)

Today a judge ordered Exxon to pay $1.3 billion for a law suit started in 1991. It seems that Exxon wasn't making enough money, a very large problem in the oil industry these days I'm sure, so they were charging 1.3 cents extra tax to certain companies for a decade. A decade. It only took the courts 14 years to figure this one out.

OK, I think I'm done ranting for a while.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

More Jiu Jiutsu

Still love my new class, having a great time geting my butt kicked on a regular basis. It is fun to learn new things, I highly recommend doing something you've always told yourself might be fun. This week I'm 2 and 1 in sparring matches. I got a Kimura on a guy, that was the 1st move I learned in this class, I choked another guy out and got choked out 1 time. In all fairness I will say that my early success has A LOT more to do with my size and strength than my technique. Most of the people in my class are smaller than I am, sometimes they get me into moves that I can "power" out of, if they were my size I would not be able to do that. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not like Kramer on Seinfeld throwing little kids around but I am bigger and stroner than most the other guys. There is one guy I like working with because he is bigger than me but he hasn't been there this week.

I am still not in shape although I feel better than last week and the week before, I've been swimming in the morning before work to help. If you've been playing the flyingpython home game the answer is "yes". That water is colder than shit at 5am! And if you want bones points the 1st words out of my mouth are "holy #$%^$^ Son of a @$%@$ mother of @#%@#$ that @#$%^@ water is cold." The next words out of my mouth every morning are "umm, ye-yess sir I do realize that it is 5am and I'm an idiot!" My neighbor thinks I'm crazy. I have also just learned that I own 50% of the 'Icey Hot" company. I earned that the hard way if you know what I mean.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Wingsday Tradition Continues

So I don't post near as much as I used to. Sorry! With my Jiu Jiutsu classes and work I don't get out as much as normal. Plus I'm winding down for my summer with McKenna, June 10th I fly out to get her and the fun begins. I did decide to break my diet and head out to Wingsday with Daniel, John and a couple other of Johns friends. Since we're talking diets for a moment lets just mention that I have lost 25lbs in 3 weeks! Tonight we started inside but decided to move out to the patio since it was such a nice evening. We were able to talk Jessica, our waitress, into keeping us even though that was not our area. Jessica was one of the more attractive waitresses there, she has beautiful eyes and a great smile. Regular readers know that we always ask how many times the waitresses get asked out in a day, Jessica estimates 4 to 5 times a day average. Not surprising that this was one of the highest numbers we've heard. I almost asked her out myself. (of course you could always email me if you're reading and want to go out ;), Jessica)At any rate the other guys drank beer, I've been on the wagon since my B-day for no particular reason, and we all at our fill of 911, 3-alarm, mild and BBQ wings. Daniel hasn't been feeling well so he ordered plain wings with mild on the side. It was the most disgusting thing we've ever seen. The mild sauce is about 99% butter and a little hot sauce, I shit you not. It looked like some kind of sick orange frosting when it came out. Daniel actually tried it. Apparantly it tastes as good as it looked. We id get to watch a live episode of cops while eating as someone got pulled over in the Jack 'n' the Box parking lot as we ate. The cops cuffed him and stuffed him. (sorry, been watching Dukes of Hazzard reruns!!! Can't wait for the movie.) Jessica didn't believe me when I told her my page was the #1 hit on google for 'wingsday'. I think I should get free wings or something for that. I'll get a petition going or something.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

So here's all my work.

The last several weekends have been spent building a retaining wall, hauling dirt to level and fill in, hauling the gold rock between the pool and the retaining wall and finally getting the flat stones for the path. What a pain in the butt! I looked forward to having this finished and laying in the pool all day on this Sunday but the wind keeps kicking up. I'll have to wait 1 more weekend to be a complete vegetable. McKenna arrives on June 10, can't wait. I will be having a big BBQ on the 18th of June to celebrate, if you know any 6(ish) year olds feel free to come on down and have some burgers, dogs 'n' stuff.

View from the deck. Posted by Hello

More Posted by Hello

The retaining wall finally complete! Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

More BJJ

Brazilian jiu jiutsu that is. My class tonight was a success, I was able to submit a guy much larger and a few weeks more experienced than me. :) I did it with a move I haven't been taught yet, but I have seen it on TV!!!! I got a pretty decent double leg takedown and passed the guard all in the same motion, he threw me off to the side but I stayed in control, popped my hips forward and threw my left leg over his head, as I fell back with his arm he tapped out. Pretty damn cool if you ask me. I know I learn more from the losses than I do from the wins but I'll take winning over losing any day.